Depending on what type of family you come from, including your father in the wedding planning can either be a great idea or the worst idea ever. The biggest problem is that your dad, being a guy, can’t see the wedding through the eyes of a woman; which is incredibly important if you want to get things right. It isn’t his fault, though, and he of course wants to help, so what are you supposed to do to get him involved in a way that makes him feel useful and doesn’t sabotage what you’re trying to achieve? Fortunately, you’re not alone in this quest because many other brides have had to figure this situation out too. Here are some tips to help with including your father in the wedding planning process that will make it fun for everyone.
In Charge of the Spreadsheet
We all know the old saying “I choose the channel, but I let your father hold the remote”, right? Well this is pretty much the same thing with your wedding planning. Let him be in charge of the spreadsheet of things that you need to get done for the wedding. As you get each thing done, he removes it from the list. As something new comes up, he adds it to the list. It may sound silly, but this will make your father feel like he’s contributing while staying out of the way of the actual planning duties. As a bonus, it’s one less thing that you have to keep track of and manage yourself.
Cater to His Strengths
Another idea to get him involved in the planning is to find out what he does well and let him go at it! If your father is a gardener, let him grow fresh flowers for your wedding. If he likes to bake, let him make cupcakes for your bridal shower. Whatever it is that he happens to be good at and enjoy, try to find a place for it in the wedding and everyone will be happy.
If your dad is anything like mine, and I’m sure he is, he likes to read endless reviews online and thoroughly check every detail about something before he buys. Men are very meticulous when it comes to making a purchase, and usually they will mull it over for a lot longer than a woman (at least in my case; I’m very compulsive!). So, you can put that trait to good use by having him scrutinize your potential wedding vendors. By putting him in charge of this task, he will feel that it is his “mission” to pick the best possible wedding vendors so nothing goes wrong on your big day. Not only does this mean he’ll have an important job to do for the wedding planning process, but your chances of having a drama-free wedding day will greatly improve.
Lastly, make sure you remind him of how much you’re looking forward to the different things you share with him on your wedding day. Discuss the traditional things such as the father/daughter dance and him walking you down the aisle and his face will light up like a light bulb. Also, it’s important to remember that he will be a very proud, and possibly goofy, man on your wedding day, so try to just let your dad be dad. With a little effort and a little patience, including your father in the wedding planning process can be both fun and rewarding for everyone.